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Joke of the Day
"What's a kidnapper's favorite kind of shoes? White Vans"
Next Joke
"Wife [interrogating]: How long have we been married dear? Me: How dare you try and sneak maths into this."
"What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender."
"Friend: I got a job as a carpenter, but it sucks. Me: No prob, just learn a few magic tricks and people will worship you as their savior."
"How to get laid: Step 1: Be an egg Step 2: That's literally it"
"What do you call a Jamaican gynecologist? A Pokemon"
"HELLO? HELP! I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED & DROPPED IN A NON-ENGLISH-SPEAKING COUNTRY & I DON'T KNOW- wait. Nm. Fell asleep at Szechuan Palace again."
"Wife: ""Oh my God! You really ONLY hear what you want!"" Me: ""Thanks! I've been working out!"""
"Anyone know where I can get a waterproof recliner for my shower??"
"[Being kidnapped] Me: i can feel it.. Stockholm syndrome kidnapper: its been 10 minutes me: should we invite your brother to the wedding?"