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Joke of the Day

"Everytime I check my facebook I remember why i'm on Twitter."

"Why did the scarecrow get an award? He was out standing in his field...."

"I was in a masturbating competition... I came 1st twice!"

"Be careful of your thoughts, they may become words at any moment."

"[raises hand in English class] Why do we need to be learned English? ""Hmm.. Couldn't have worded that better myself, Luke"""

"I started a website for female drivers... but the damn thing kept crashing =D."

"I call bs on the Ninja Turtles having those ripped abs. No way you could do crunches with a shell attached to your back. Trust me Ive tried."

"Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Listening to an antijoke."

"Today I told my boyfriend he can have as much anal sex as he wants... After all it's his butt."

"It is known... ..by everyone except Jon Snow. He knows nothing."