203222

Joke of the Day

"Caught my Vegan roommate... Caught my Vegan roommate crying today while chopping onions. These people are taking it too far now!"

"9: Why are you hitting that spider? wife: I don't like spiders me: Ooooh *grabs newspaper* mother-in-law [leaving] I don't have to take this"

"What's the name of West Virginia's version of Winnie the Pooh? Gummy Bear"

"This happened over the weekend I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again."

"I can't remember what 51, 6 and 500 are in Roman numerals... ...fucking livid..."

"If you don't use a bottle opener to open your beer, you drink shitty beer."

"Whats the difference between a Polish woman and a hockey goalkeeper?? A hockey goalie changes his pads after 3 periods"

"""Well I'll be damned."" said atheist when rapture happened."

"What sexual position makes the ugliest babies? Ask your mom."

"Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always."