220443

Joke of the Day

"6yo lured girls to our beach umbrella by shaking a bag of Cheetos at them & it worked so guys, feel free to steal his fool-proof method."

"I'm pitching a show called ""Walking Dad"" where dads go around biting each other and then the people who get bitten become dads too."

"A hyena walks up to the check in counter in an airport... ... and throws a rotting gazelle onto the desk. The counter person shouts ""what is this?"" and the hyena says ""it's my carrion""."

"My favorite position is the JFK I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car."

"Hold.. Hold.. Hold.. CHARGE!!!!! -Ice at the bottom of a glass"

"What's the difference between heroin and the cast of the jersey shore? I wouldn't shoot heroin."

"HR: Did you call an employee stupid? Me: No, I asked if he knew he was stupid."

"Did you hear about the blackout? Don't worry, I shot him."

"when a cop pulls me over i tell him i'm a nihilist and i don't believe in tickets or laws or authority. i do however now believe in tazers."

"What's a nuns favorite day of the week? Sununday."