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Joke of the Day

"You have a donkey and I have a rooster. Your donkey eats my roosters legs. What do you have? Two feet of my cock in your ass."

"100m Dash A girl says to her friend ""The last time I had sex was like the 100 meter dash"" Her friend says ""What, over in 6 seconds?"" ""No, with 8 black men and a gun."""

"Be serious with unknown girls. Boy: The principal is so dumb! Girl: Do you know who I am? Boy: No... Girl: I am the principal's daughter! Boy: Do you know who I am? Girl: No... Boy: Good! *walks away*"

"Everyone keeps telling me that I'm condescending. It means I talk down to people."

"My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag. Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby."

"For every male action, there is a female overreaction..."

"The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close."

"Why did the spreadsheets get divorced? They just couldn't sort things out."

"A relationship is like a fart If you have to force it, it's probably shit."

"If this whole twitter thing doesn't work out, we can all get jobs writing for a company that makes mildly disturbing fortune cookies."