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Joke of the Day

"Why did the spreadsheets get divorced? They just couldn't sort things out."

"Who's the most popular guy in the hospital? The Ultra Sound guy. Who is it when he's not there? The Hip Replacement guy."

"Cop: Been drinking tonight, ma'am? Me: No, I'm just dizzy b/c I'm having a heavy flow day. It's really clotty and... Cop: You're free to go."

"My wife and I were convicted of paedophilia The kids are taking it pretty hard."

"Whenever I'm on a flight and a bald person sits next to me, it takes a ton of willpower not to draw on their head when they are sleep."

"What's the difference between a Trump rally and a Klan rally? Several thousand yards of white fabric."

"Current fitness level: arm is tired from brushing teeth."

"What was the weather forcast in poland on the day before the german invasion? 86% chance of heil"

"Why did the blonde have bruises around her belly button? Because blonde guys are stupid too."

"Why did the girlfriend of a guy trying to pay down $20K in debt leave him? No eating out."