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Joke of the Day

"Executioner: any last words? Me: pineapple belongs on pizza. Hit the switch"

"Which one is closer, Sun or Africa? Teacher: Which one is closer, Sun or Africa? Johnny: Sun Teacher: Why? Johnny: We can see the sun all the time, but can't see Africa."

"What's the last thing a stripper does with her asshole before starting her shift? Drops him off at band practice."

"How does Sean Connery shave? Ctrl+esh"

"I got in touch with my inner child and the little shit hung up on me."

"What did the scientist see when he looked up his family tree? A gorilla pooped on his face."

"How do you call a puzzled amputee? Stumped."

"""ARE YOU IN THERE LOOKING AT GUYS STARING AT THEIR COMPUTERS AGAIN?!?!"" - porn's parents"

"[test driving car with car salesman] *parks on make out hill*"

"[on first date] I'll have an iced tea, please. Waiter: Sure. Ummm...anything for the balloon with a woman's face drawn on it?"