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Joke of the Day

"I got in touch with my inner child and the little shit hung up on me."

"What is black and doesn't work? Decaf coffee."

"I never warn my wife before I pull the anal beads out.. I like starting the mower on the first tug."

"Why did a footballer take a piece of rope onto the pitch? He was the skipper!"

"My girlfriend called me a pedophile I said, ""That's a pretty big word for a six year old."""

"What do you call a group of 10 insects that live in a housing complex? Tenants"

"Im at the swamp does anyone need anything"

"Kanye West was hospitalized... Our thoughts and prayers go out to the hospital staff at this difficult time."

"When I was asked what my five year plan is I responded... I couldn't tell you, I only have 2020 vision. pm me if you want my address to come murder me in my sleep for this."

"I was told I couldn't change religion because I wasn't circumcised .. Guess I'm just not cut out to be a Jew."