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Joke of the Day

"98% of Facebook is women telling each other how great they look."

"[rap battle] *drops the mic* *scrambles around trying to pick up the mic* [20min earlier] *other guy covering my mic in butter*"

"What do you call a deer with no eye? GoodMorning! NO IDEAR!"

"Does the S in iPhone 5S stand for ""superficial""? ""Shallow""? ""Slave""? Or ""soon to be obsolete""?"

"My boss is sick of my comedy at work and says if I tell one more joke then I'll be fired! Well, I'll have the last laugh"

"How do you react to the fragrance of a bottle of wine from the year 2000? Smells like teen spirit."

"1) Put index and thumb together. 2) Place them where nose meets forehead. 3) Close eyes. 4) Sigh. 5) Check to see if person still talking."

"If I had a dollar... If i had a dollar for every racist comment i've ever made, a black guy would probably mug me."

"Having sex was like riding a bicycle for the first time... My dad was there holding me from the back."

"Women are like convertibles. They're a lot more fun when the top's down."