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Joke of the Day

"A women insists, ""Women are funny!"" A man replies, ""You're right! That's the funniest thing I've ever heard!"""

"What kind of soldier doesn't need bullets? The kind of soldier that's always shooting his mouth off."

"Somewhere in the world, a woman gives birth once a minute. It must suck to be her."

"The Karate Kid grew up to be The Karate Man and now he's the Pizza Hut delivery guy with a ponytail who tries to talk to you about swords."

"Fat people save more water compared to everyone else... because they only need one cup off water to fill a bath."

"Which came first? Chicken or the egg? I CAME FIRST! edit: CAME = CUM"

"Keep your friends close & your enemies, in your trunk. Unless you're crossing a border. Then don't do that."

"My parents didnt take me seriously when i came out It was because i couldn't keep a straight face"

"How do you make a moth bawl? Hit him with a fly swatter."

"How bout I hold a toaster over you while you're in the tub, and you tweet something that doesn't make me drop it."