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Joke of the Day

"*knocks on woman's washroom* Hello anyone in here? *no one answers* *runs in & lifts up every toilet seat* HAHAHA *runs away giggling*"

"Subway must have introduced a new Genius feature, because they just suggested I might like a drink with my sandwich. I do. Nailed it."

"My wife likes to window-shop a lot. The situation is so bad that we have more windows than walls."

"Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper."

"What do you call a pastry with an English degree? A synonym roll"

"Kid 1 swallows coin: rush to ER Kid 2 swallows coin: wait for it to pass Kid 3 swallows coin: deduct from their allowance"

"What happened after 14-Year-Old Richie inherited his father's footwear empire? He came into a lot of socks."

"What problem afflicts 40% of all pedophiles? Immature ejaculation"

"What did the undertaker say as the coffin fell out of the car? ""We'll have to rehearse that."""

"Did you hear about the guy from Alabama who tried to fuck a clock? He heard time was relative."