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Joke of the Day

"""Blackhat"" opens to just $4M this weekend with a $70M budget, making it the first bomb of 2015. Biggest hack in the movie? Micheal Mann"

"Why did Kermit break up with Miss Piggy? He wasn't ready for a Kermitment."

"What do you get when 1000 politicians have an idea? A dim light."

"The way I see it, each lap I make around Costco's frozen food section should work off each sample I get from the ice cream sandwich lady."

"A helicopter There are two men in a helicopter, the gunner says to the pilot,""are you going to rotate clockwise?"" The pilot says,""yaw"""

"20 Years Ago... 20 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope. And now, we have no jobs, no cash, and no hope"

"New TomTom voice over I got a new TomTom and changed his voice to Chewbacca. Left is BRRRRRRRRRRR and right is BRRRRRRRRRRR And when I'm at my distination : i still dont know"

"A person followed me and then unfollowed me within 3 minutes. How can they judge me after only seeing 47 tweets?"

"There are a lot of dads out there trying to make up for lost time by ""liking"" their grown children's facebook updates."

"Anyone who believes in telekinesis... ...raise my hand"