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Joke of the Day

"Why did the butcher die ? Because he chopped off the wrong sausage."

"You know that confused look that old people get when looking at new technology? I'm like that, but with salad."

"I had a dream about mufflers last night... I woke up exhausted"

"What's the difference between a slut and a bitch? A slut will have sex with anyone, a bitch will have sex with anyone but you."

"What do they do when the Queen has a baby? Fire a 21 gun salute. What do they do when a nun has a baby? Fire the dirty old Canon."

"Alfred: About your girlfriend Catwoman... Batman: Yes, she's a thief, but- A: No, she pooped on the rug again. Right next to the litter box!"

"Can someone just tell me which guy Bridget Jones ends up with? I keep killing myself before the end of the movie."

"Where does the General keep his armies? Up his sleevies!"

"You know the best thing about Midgets? They are really down to earth people."

"How many Trump supporters does it take to screw in a light bulb? They don't need light bulbs, the burning crosses provide enough illumination."