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Joke of the Day
"What's a 68? She blows me and I owe her one."
Next Joke
"What do you call a woman that doesn't make me a sandwich? An ambulance."
"You know the 'Done' button you press to exit a video? How come it only sounds judgy and sarcastic after I've finished jacking off?"
"Everybody has been telling me to stop singing wonderwall... I said maybe"
"If you don't pretend you're in a spaceship every time you walk through some automatic doors, you're too mature for me"
"I know I'm getting old... the other day I walked past a cemetery and two guys attacked me with shovels."
"The plural of ""person on Segway"" is ""losers."""
"[after lover's spat] ME: Honey. Lamb chop. Sweetie cakes. HER: You're just naming foods. ME: Pumpkin. Muffin. HER: ... ME: Zucchini bread."
"Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it."
"What do you call a college scholarship for a black guy? all of them."