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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the Hollywood actress that got murdered...? Person 1: Her name was Reese, errr, Reese, Reese whatshername... Person 2: Witherspoon? Person 1: No, with a knife."

"My wife's new skirt Came home and saw my wife had done some shopping. ""Nice skirt,"" I said. ""What are you talking about? I got my hair straightened out."""

"What do you call a black man flying a plane? **A pilot** ... you racist"

"Why did Timmy fall off the swings? Didn't have any hands.. (the real punch line) Knock knock.. Who's there? Not Timmy.."

"I have an epileptic friend... He's a jerk..."

"Wife: [eats hotdog, spills mustard & relish on her blouse] Me: HELLO TEMPTRESS"

"Every time I text this guy, he replies with ""Sorry, I'm driving."" It's been a few days. I'm guessing he's probably made it to Mexico by now."

"Did you hear about the Easter Egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients? They hid their own eggs"

"I was watching the men's hockey at the commonwealth games today, I was thinking it must be a very dangerous game to play, I mean half the Indian team were running around with bandages on their heads"

"shout out to the little girl at the zoo earlier who said ""when I grow up I want to be bamboo"""