4520

Joke of the Day

"How did the dungeon keeper plan for retirement? Collecting stocks and bonds."

"How Many liberals does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, because they're so darn stupid!"

"I don't draw my eyebrows on because I can't commit to one facial expression. What if I see a puppy? What if my house burns down?"

"Q: Why wasn't there any food after the monster party? A: Because everyone was a goblin."

"Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?"

"To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present, they are due back at the library today.."

"Forget about sexy, I am bringing good manners back!"

"So a guy comes into my bar for a beer... I give it to him and he says, ""Hey! There's a fly in this!"" Embarrassed I look and say, ""Oh no, that's just Gnatty Lite."""

"You're nice to the weird kid once, then BOOM! Stalked for life..."

"The first rule of procrastination club is: Google some weird shit then take a nap."