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Joke of the Day

"Forget about sexy, I am bringing good manners back!"

"Sext I just received from my wife- ""Wake up! You're snoring so loud on the couch, you may as well come to bed."""

"How many bitter Hillary Clinton supporters does it take to change a light bulb? None, we've decided to let a man do the job."

"[bedroom] TRANSFORMER WIFE: Honey, this is silly. I'd never cheat on you. TRANSFORMER HUSBAND: Okay....hey, when did we get that wardrobe?"

"Date - ""I really dig intellectuals"" Me - ""oh yeah? well check this out babe"" [counts to 17]"

"I'm pretty sure my kids got my good looks... My wife still has hers."

"Father: Don't you feel better now that you've gone to the dentist? Son: Sure do. He wasn't in."

"Did you know a cat can jump higher than a house? This is due to the fact that cats have very powerful hind legs and that houses can't jump."

"my shower curtain grabbing my thigh while I was washing my hair is the most action I've gotten in a long time."

"Why did the ghost go into the elevator? To lift his spirits."