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Joke of the Day

"If you die in the shower when you're shampooing do the police have to finish rinsing when they find you or is that the ME's job. Is it a job"

"Taking my wife to a wife swapping party tonight... Hoping to get a PS4 in return."

"What is the Sun's favorite type of music? Sol."

"Convincing your girlfriend she's crazy is called gaslighting, and it's a dick move. Convincing her she's a robot is called bladerunning... It's a Phillip K. Dick move."

"His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. There's vomit on his sweater already... Woman: Did you just quote Eminem? Doctor: Your husband's alcohol poisoning is not a joke, madam!"

"What did the shirt say to the pants zipper? Your so fly man"

"YOU EVER SHIT SOOO GOOD YOU CUM? AND GET ALL LIGHT HEADED AND SHIT? -UNCLE SAM T."

"How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it. How do you catch a tame rabbit? The tame way."

"When women go wrong, men go right after them."

"Non-Americans may get this. Waterboarded."