194877

Joke of the Day

"Taking my wife to a wife swapping party tonight... Hoping to get a PS4 in return."

"I'm not sure if I actually have free time or there are things I'm forgetting to do."

"Today I'm approaching teens dressed like I'm from the future, locking eyes, and saying ""Happy Presidents Day, sir"" with a wink"

"[god on LSD creating Donald Trump What if a car alarm that constantly goes off for no reason were a person?"

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 did 9/11"

"I can judge the goodness of my sex life by the loudness of the terrible music the neighbors are blasting"

"Guy asks his girlfriend to tell him something that will make him happy and sad at the same time. She thinks for a few seconds and replies.... Your penis is bigger than your father's."

"What did Hitler get for Christmas? An easy-bake oven."

"Ever since my son got his first girlfriend, I've been changing the bed sheets much more often. Whenever I imagine him knocking her up, I shit myself."

"What's the best way to be on Instagram and in life? Selfless"