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Joke of the Day

"Convincing your girlfriend she's crazy is called gaslighting, and it's a dick move. Convincing her she's a robot is called bladerunning... It's a Phillip K. Dick move."

"Why are camels considered the ships of the desert? They are full of arab semen."

"Why do all the ladies love Jesus? (spreads out arms to fullest length) Because he was hung like this."

"How does NASA plan a party..? They planet."

"I was left alone for 3 hours and I almost cut my hand off trying to open a banana."

"My grandfather always said: ""Don't look after your money, look after your health"" Once I was looking after my health and someone stole my money. It was my grandfather."

"How do you find Will Smith in winter? You follow the Fresh Prince"

"Tickets for the wheelchair races are selling out...seats are going fast!"

"Leather armor is best for sneaking Because it's literally made of hide."

"What do Led Zeppelin and New Orleans have in common ""When the Levi breaks, we have no place to stay"""