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Joke of the Day

"How do you know Justin Bieber is Canadian? Only a Canadian could get a #1 on Billboard with a song called Sorry."

"When I was 8, my best friend & I had a big fight. The next week his family moved away. Dave, if you're reading this, I still hate your guts."

"I hate babies when they are crying. I hate people who love babies & think babies are cute. I hate grown up babies who make more babies."

"What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend? He wipes his ass."

"What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brown? Artificial intelligence."

"""Jesus honey, I don't know. How about a letter, a time of day, and something really Indian"" - M. Night Shyamalan's parents' naming process"

"When bears are around, try to look skinny and they won't eat you. If that doesn't work, kick your buddy in the nuts and RUN!"

"What did gangster Pooh said to gangster Tigger? ""Tigga please!"" Sorry, I heard it years ago. I don't remember where or when but I've just been saying alot lately. :p"

"I don't know what disturbs me more about my attraction towards my girlfriends mother. The fact that she's 51 or the fact that she's also my mother."

"IF I HAD A NICKLE EVERY TIME A GOP OFFICIAL CALLED TRUMP'S BEHAVIOR ""UNACCEPTABLE"" BUT ACCEPTED HIM AS NOMINEE I COULD START A FAKE COLLEGE"