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Joke of the Day

"Twitter. Where people you don't know are better friends than your real friends."

"What's the difference between an old-time organ grinder and a heroin addict? One has a monkey on a leash and the other has a monkey on his back."

"A cop pulls over a guy for suspected DUI ""How high are you?"" the cop says. ""No, officer, it's 'Hi, how are you,'"" says the guy."

"Ariana Grande would be the first kid on the factory tour taken away by the Oompa Loompas."

"Why did the freshly circumcised penis experience uncontrollable road rage? Someone cut him off."

"What do watermelons and Khloe Kardashian's vagina have in common? They're both pink in the middle and full of black seeds"

"A roman walks into a bar... holds up two fingers and says ""five beers please!"""

"Stuck in church. Everyone's singing ""What a Friend We Have in Jesus"". Damn, My son has some stupid friends."

"A tree falls in the woods ... and no one is around to hear it, how is it I.T's fault. Because I.T didn't move the woods into the cloud."

"In my experience there's two ways to get things done, the right way and the drunk way."