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Joke of the Day

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the 'P' is silent!"

"Having sex with children is fucking tight."

"Martin Shkreli's life"

"How do you titillate an ocelot? You oscillate it's tits a lot."

"""Excuse me sir, but there's a Bohemian knight here to collect his fee."" ""Tell him the check is in the mail."""

"I just found out that my sweater was made by indonesian slave children And i must say they did a wonderful job"

"What is the most unexpected part of a fast food meal? The element of some fries."

"Do I have friends? Are we allowed to count the enemies of my enemies? Then yes, I have a bunch of friends."

"If I had a dollar for every time somebody got the punchline wrong I'd have a lot of euros"

"Judge: Why did you steal that bird? Prisoner: For a lark sir."