11622

Joke of the Day

"Do I have friends? Are we allowed to count the enemies of my enemies? Then yes, I have a bunch of friends."

"id be so offended if a group of ppl just rolled through my room on safari rn as im lounging in bed and just pointed at me and took pictures"

"I assume when I get put on hold after I call customer service it's because 2 guys are flipping a coin to see who pretends to be the manager."

"I call my car 'The Forest Whitaker' because the left light barely works."

"What do you call a gay chemist? Homogeneous."

"Which honorary degree is to be awarded to someone who has made contributions to PHP ? Ph.P."

"Why didnt the melons get married? Because they cantaloupe"

"Taken 3 ~ It All Ends Here Taken 4 ~ Listen, We're Just As Surprised As You Are Taken 5 ~ Whaaaaat!? Yep..."

"Why can't cats survive on Mars, even with spacesuits? Because Curiosity will kill them."

"I'm sorry I dropped your baby and doubly sorry I nudged it under the crib with my foot so you wouldn't notice."