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Joke of the Day

"I'm quite sure if Adam had offered Eve a donut, that whole Garden of Eden thing would've gone in an entirely different direction."

"What do you call a gorilla in water? Harambait."

"Q: What do you get when you cross a camera with a mirror? A: A camera that takes pictures of itself."

"What does Bill Clinton say to Hillary after sex? I'll be home in 20 minutes."

"Why was the circuit arrested? Because it was charged with battery!"

"[talking to mcdonalds cashier] which burger has the most acai berry vitamins and superfood antioxidants?"

"ME: *vaping* FRIEND: is that just a fountain pen? ME: *ink all over my teeth* nope"

"The last time I had sex, there was a dinosaur in the cave with us."

"Oh my god, my jeans fit! All I have to do is not sit down, not walk, and not breathe. I totally got this."

"Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? A: 'ell if I know."