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Joke of the Day

"The cat puked all over the bath mat so I just tossed it into the trash can. Then I put the bath mat in the washer."

"Someone tried to sell me a coffin today. I told him that's the last thing I need."

"I don't like peanut butter... it just isn't my jam."

"What kind of person are you if you open the door from the bottom of the door? A low-key person"

"What's the difference between batman and a blackman? Batman can go to the store with out robin."

"Happy International Women's day. Or a sad one. Or an angry one. Or a passive aggressive one. You never really know with women."

"What do you think about a girl isn't a virgin before 18?"

"What's the most casual crime you can commit? Shooting the breeze."

"This could be the LSD talking, but I'm pretty sure I'd be more comfortable riding on the roof of the car."

"I guess now we'll never know if they were identical or fraternal twin towers :("