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Joke of the Day

"How to piss me off: rearrange the grocery store. How to send me into a psychotic rage: rearrange the liquor store."

"If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get? mistletoe"

"It's nice that the french finally grew some balls... ...and shot down a German plane but unfortunately the war ended 70 years ago."

"A fun trick for remembering peoples names is to never interact with anyone."

"Why did the mathematician get pulled over? for drinking and deriving"

"Why doesn't the gas balloon want to have a flame? 6 Because he could become a brandfare"

"Why did all the sea monsters refer to the kraken as a whore when he died? Because he died choking on a bunch of seamen."

"Can a ninja throw projectile weapons? Shuriken!"

"How do you kill a hipster? Drown him in the main stream. A hipster actually told me this one."

"If by ""fetching"" you mean ""looks like I was dragged from the woods by a dog"" then yes I look fetching."