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Joke of the Day

"It sucks when you & your pal show up at a party wearing the same shirt...and an hour in, his chest hair starts sticking to your back."

"If a woman is bad at parking it's because she is constantly lied to about what 8 inches is."

"Why shouldn't you buy trousers from northern Ukraine? Chernobyl fallout"

"If you're drinking a Starbucks coffee while complaining about paying $4.20 a gallon for gas, you should have your license revoked."

"Is it crazy how saying sentences backwards... ...creates backwards sentences saying how crazy it is?"

"Why did the melons decide to have a wedding? Because they cantaloupe."

"At a restaurant: ""Would you like a table?"" ""No, not at all. I came here to eat on the floor. Carpet for 5 please."""

"I love Yahoo Answers because no matter how bizarre my question, someone in the world has already thought of it. And thats really comforting."

"If you can't love the one you want, love someone who looks like them and just squint a lot."

"I told my wife she would look sexier with her hair back... She was pissed! Apparently that's a insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient."