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Joke of the Day

"Bro:hey how are you? Me: eh, feeling stabby B: B:I'm afraid if I tell you that's not a real word you'll show me what it means. Me: smart"

"Scientists are now saying climate change is ""whatever"" and life is ""bullshit"" and ""Judith left me last night, that's why I'm drunk at work""."

"Did r/jokes hear about the new Taco Bell Express yet? You give them 99c, and they throw a burrito in the toilet for you."

"Technically all panties are edible if you're ambitious enough."

"People who live in stone houses can throw all the glass they want."

"Jesus went into an inn. He handed the innkeeper 3 nails and asked, ""Can you put me up for the night?"""

"What's got four legs and one arm? An attack dog in a preschool."

"when i hear fat people say that they've made mistakes, i always think to myself, ""yeaa...at the grocery store."""

"The good thing about being tall is, you can't get lost in a crowd. The bad thing is, you can't get lost in a crowd."

"An app like Tinder that can find me episodes of Law & Order SVU I haven't seen."