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Joke of the Day

"Do people who happily announce their pregnancy know they are going to be stuck with a baby afterwards?"

"Where do onions wrestle? Onion rings."

"How do you know that an introvert likes you? He looks at your shoes instead of his."

"I was watching ""Who wants to be a Millionaire?"" on Zimbabwean TV."

"Today is the 1 year anniversary of the day i decided to get sober. And tomorrow is the anniversary of the day I decided sobriety wasn't for me."

"The only thing sadder than doing nothing with our lives, is spending our time watching others do the same. #RealityTV"

"When the animal kingdom had a poker party who didn't they invite? The Cheetahs!"

"How do you fit 100 babies into a cup? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips."

"A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but Saran Wrap. The psychiatrist says, ""Well I can clearly see you're nuts."""

"What do you call a guy with diarrhea who just had his father committed to the insane asylum? A crap happy chappy with a slap happy pappy."