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Joke of the Day
"How do you fit 100 babies into a cup? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips."
Next Joke
"My questionnaire for teenage girls: 1. can you not 2. do you even 3. whatever"
"Maxim's Hot 100 List is bogus. Some of those girls look WAY younger than 100."
"[staff meeting] ""Ya so heads up, someone grabbed my lunch from the fridge, and there's a 420% chance you shouldn't eat the brownie inside"""
"Why don't you see blonde pharmacists? They can't get the bottles into the typewriter!"
"CNN has confirmed that aliens might actually be involved in the disappearance of Flight 370. At least two illegal immigrants were caught on camera boarding the plane."
"What does a man with a tiny penis have for breakfast? Well this morning I had a PopTart, 2 eggs and a glass of orange juice."
"I post stuff in the wrong sub-reddits. AMA wait... FUCK"
"What is evil and ugly and goes at 125 mph? A witch in a high speed train."
"I marched in a high school band, caught an armed robber, and sold girl scout cookies. All I was trying to do was find my car."