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Joke of the Day

"It's funny how you think it's your cat leaving all those dead birds on your doorstep."

"HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA ARE RAISING A CAT ARMY."

"*incoming text* ""hey bud can I crash at ur place"" Sure come on over *sound of approaching airplane*"

"We live in a society that's the most knowledgeable about a zombie apocalypse, but the most likely to be eaten while staring at our phones."

"Calm down! I'm not officially late until I actually get there."

"Why kind of motorcycles do cows ride? Mooooootorcycles!"

"Why do the Scots wear kilts? Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away."

"A German walks into a French bar There is no counter."

"11: Did it rain last night? Me: No. 11: But it's so wet! Me: That's what she said. 11: What? Me: What?"

"Spoiler Alert I just watched Fast and Furious the other day, and I just couldn't get into it because there were too many spoilers."