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Joke of the Day

"I've never been booed off stage. I've never been booed off stage! Sure, I've been booed on stage plenty of times... but never off stage. In honor of Mitch Hedberg. RIP."

"What's the difference between the 2016 presidential debates and a pen of baboons relentlessly fighting over the dead stinking corpse of a sheep? Microphones!"

"Relationships nowadays: First month, I love you baby! Second month, we are forever! Third month, Single."

"What are 3 things you can't give a black man? A fat lip, A black eye and, a job. I had too.."

"Second date tip: repeat everything you said on the first date, word for word."

"It's 2012 and we still don't serve all food in a bread bowl."

"chin nut What do you call nuts on a wall? A: a wallnut What do you call nuts on a chest? A: a chestnut What do you call nuts on your chin? A: a blowjob"

"How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? Seriously, I gotta figure out how many slaves I need to buy"

"Knock Knock Who's there ? Chopin ! Chopin who ? Chopin the supermarket !"

"What did the grape say when an elephant stepped on him? Nothing, he just let out a little wine."