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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between the 2016 presidential debates and a pen of baboons relentlessly fighting over the dead stinking corpse of a sheep? Microphones!"

"Roses are red. Violets are....red Tulips are red My garden is on fire."

"Why do they call P.M.S , P.M.S ? Because Mad Cow disease was already taken."

"What's the difference between a rooster and a prostitute the rooster says cockadoodledoo a prostitute says anycockwilldo"

"What has a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend got in common? In both cases you wish you took it out a few seconds earlier."

"Never trust an atom They make up everything"

"Need expensive surgery? Tell a surgeon you're auditioning a few before picking one. Have them do the surgery then say ""OK I'll let you know"""

"Who do zombie cowboys fight? Deadskins."

"Hi. My name is Bill Gates and today, I will be teaching you how to count to ten: 1, 2, 3, 95, 98, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10"

"Would you like to hear a good joke about Jonestown Massacre? Nah, nevermind, the punchline is too long."