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Joke of the Day
"I guess the Tupperware lids in my house just graduate and go off to college or something."
Next Joke
"Mechanic: the front shocks are shot. Did you hit a pothole? Me: yes but I winced, patted the dash & said I was sorry so it can't be that."
"What do you call Moby Dick when he washes up on a sandbar? A bleached whale!"
"Gold walks into a bar... So gold walks into a bar and than the bartender says AU get out! I show myself out..."
"late night science fact: if u laid out your veins from end to end u would die"
"If you wondered if I was on the naughty list this year, I should probably tell you that the best gift I got was a packing peanut."
"Why is Donald Trump like a college football team in Tijuana? They're both slipping in the polls."
"""I have to inform you that you're sitting in an exit row and are legally required to take a photo of the plane wing and post it on Facebook"""
"Between hating pork and launching themselves into enemy structures, Al Qaeda were the original Angry Birds."
"A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three... He says, ""uno, dos..."" and he disappears without a tres"