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Joke of the Day

"""These orthodontic shoes are really great!"" - don't you mean *orthopedic*? ""I stand corrected."""

"Most arachnophobes end up secretly being spiders themselves"

"A woman got breast implants made of wood... It would be funny if this joke had a punch line... wooden tit"

"Asked a vegetarian if she'd heard this song, then remembered vegos are too weak to turn on radios and way too busy playing with their lutes."

"INTERVIEWER: Do you have any hidden talents? ME: I taught myself how to play piano INTERVIEWER: By ear? ME: No, just with my hands"

"You hear the joke about the frenzied mob? It's a riot."

"Q: What do you get if you cross Dracula with Sir Lancelot? A: A bite in shining armour."

"Wife's just back from the spa, says she feels like a new woman Apparently ""Me too"" wasn't the right response."

"I respect you, liquor store shopping cart user."

"Scientists have a new working theory on what happened before the Big Bang. Your mom put an ad on Craigslist."