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Joke of the Day

"Sister won't let me eat her out I'm bringing this bullshit up to Father Tim at Sunday Mass."

"There's only one way to get a girl's heart... And that's through her rib cage"

"And satan said ""let all the opinions of strangers on social media have an absurdly large effect on you"" and it was so"

"What font is alphabet soup produced in? Times New Ramen"

"If our last names came from the jobs of our ancestors... Then I feel really bad for the boys of the ""Dickinson"" family tree."

"Why was Cinderella able to surf the web? Because he footman turned into a mouse."

"Where does Neckwear go on vacation? Thailand."

"What's with these people on facebook who never particpate on your page at all, yet act all weird when you decline attending their stupid event?"

"""You have a date? With who?"" [Sees a fishing boat] ""Uh, her name is Net..."" [Sees someone with a booger] ""Flicks! Net Flicks! Wait. Dammit."""

"""Quinoa"" sounds like something a ninja would say before kicking you."