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Joke of the Day

"How about a ceiling fan with brakes so I don't have to stand there for 10 seconds wondering if I actually turned it off."

"I really got in touch with my inner self tonight... I'll never buy that cheap toilet paper again!"

"What happens when you eat burgers with onions? Bunions. (written by my 25 year old girlfriend)"

"If NASA are ever going to send someone to mars to collect water samples, They're going to have to planet very carefully!"

"I hate people who say 'Age is just a number' Age is clearly a word."

"Did you hear about the Mexican that was shot on the golf course? There was a hole in Juan."

"How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb? One, but the light bulb has to want to change"

"Jesus Saves ... and Esposito scores on the rebound!"

"My son feels about broccoli the way I feel about having to make a phone call."

"Why didn't the Duke of Windsor let his French servant help him tie his tie? He never does it with a four-in (foreign)-hand."