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Joke of the Day

"A woman is accused of attacking her husband with several of his guitars The Judge asked ""First time offender?"" She replied, ""No, first time a Gibson, then a Fender."""

Next Joke
 
"Im going to nickname my penis 'The Truth'... ...Because you want the truth, but you can't handle the truth, and sometimes the truth hurts."
"So there I was... ...balls deep in a man's ass. He turns around and asks ""Hey, can I have a reach-around?"" So I asked, ""What are you, gay?"""
"Why do people wear sleeveless shirts? They like to express the right to bear arms."
"What is the captain of the starship enterprise's favorite drink? Picardi and coke"
"Q: Why did the Davidians commit suicide? A: They were trying to keep up with the Joneses."
"My brother was recently diagnosed with an eating disorder called pica, which means he eats non-nutritive substances... When I beat him at Jenga the other day, he literally shit bricks."
"Q: What does a proud computer call his little son? A: A microchip off the old block."
"How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one."
"What do you call a confederate that's bleeding out? A rebel without a gauze"