44182

Joke of the Day

"How do you make a blondes eyes shine bright? Shine a torch in her ear!"

"How cute! Someone wrote ""will you go to prom with me?"" on my car. But they spelled it ""I'm gonna kill you scumbag!"". Ah, young love."

"What do you call Batman when he ditches church? Christian Bale"

"""Still upset about earlier?"" Yeah ""So you knocked over a few spaghetti boxes at the store. No big deal"" I WAS A WORLD JENGA CHAMPION, SALLY"

"I was going to make an anal joke... Butt fuck it!"

"I went out the other night and tried a pelican burger for the first time.... It was amazing but the bill was enormous!!"

"Justin Bieber.... I have recently changed the sound of my alarm clock to ""Justin Bieber - Baby"". Now I wake up 5 minutes earlier every day, so I don't have to listen to it."

"The entire plot of spiderman A teenage boy finds out he can shoot white stuff out his body"

"If Trump wins after Obama leaves office... Does that mean that orange really is the new black?"

"You hang up ""No, you hang up"" You hang up first! - Bats going to bed"