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Joke of the Day

"I went out the other night and tried a pelican burger for the first time.... It was amazing but the bill was enormous!!"

"My goal is to one day make it through an entire p orn movie."

"Three Guys Walk Into A Bar The fourth guy ducks."

"Grenade in a french bathroom What do you get when you throw a hand grenade into a french bathroom? Linoleum Blown Apart"

"What did the dick say to the condom? Cover me, im going in!"

"It's truly amazing what Abraham Lincoln accomplished while wearing such a big stupid hat."

"Do you know why beer goes through your system so fast? Because it does not have to stop to change color."

"What walks on eight legs until the age of one, four legs until the age of twenty, and two legs after? The Weasley twins"

"Did you know when a man masturbates he generates 5 BTU of energy.. So if you had 5000 men in a room masturbating, it would be extremely gay."

"Amazingly, over half a million people showed up for Obama's inauguration ceremony, and only 8 missed work."