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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you travel a long way with a kung fun hero, and breathe heavily next to a guy named Russ? Miley Cyrus."

"Have you heard the joke about the roof? No? Well, I guess it went over your head! I'll kill myself now."

"My ex-girlfriend has a tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh. and if you hold your ear against it, you can smell the sea."

"Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes"

"I just hope the government doesn't have my Angry Birds scores. All in all they're pretty embarassing."

"*looks through telescope* *telescope thinks you're looking at him and waves* *you wave at Jupiter behind* *telescope awkwardly lowers hand*"

"After being away from Reddit for a day, how do you keep up with what you missed? You go to 9gag."

"What's loud and sounds like ""apples""? *APPLES!!!*"

"shaggy: hey scoob where's my burger scooby: ruh roh shaggy: great danes only live 8 years you know scooby: ruck roo"

"What do you call someone with one arm and no legs? Names"