103213

Joke of the Day

"The biggest difference between mistletoe and camel toe is the length of the kiss."

"My kid threatened to hold his breath until i gave him dessert He's now passed out on the floor. I don't negotiate with terrorists."

"Where does Peter Pan like to eat out? Wendy's."

"The only thing better than living a mundane, boring life is writing about it on the internet."

"Snooki's kind of like Hurricane Sandy... She's large, slow-moving, an has blown just about everyone in the Jersey Shore."

"How many Orthodox Hasidic Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, ya mensch. It's Shabbat."

"There are 3 kinds of people in the world. Those who can count and those who can't."

"Why did the farmer take a bale of hay to bed? He wanted to feed his nightmares."

"First rule of robbing banks is you have to shout, ""THIS IS A ROBBERY!"" Otherwise they might think it's a baptism."

"Alsation: Was your master playing catch with you? Chihuahua: No I was playing throw with her!"