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Joke of the Day

"How does an optometrist make love? Better like this ... or better like this?"

"Rattlesnakes and Condoms ...two things I don't fuck with."

"How do Mexican peanuts tell time? cacawatches"

"What do coffee beans say to scare their friends? Brew."

"""You home?"" -scariest text you can get"

"How many political idealists does it take to change a light bulb? None, political idealists can't change anything."

"Why does 0=1 COS(0)=1"

"The hottest chick rang me up at the self checkout today!"

"Did you hear about the article in Psychology Today about disproving the existence of Observation Bias? The head researcher was quoted as saying ""it turned out to be just as we expected""."

"Keep ""Christ in ""Christopher Lloyd"" because without it, he'd be ""Opher Lloyd"" and that sounds like ""overlord."" Huh? I'll have a Sprite."