39417

Joke of the Day

"How many absurdists does it take to change a lightbulb? Yarn."

"My dad always told me to treat women like flowers. So I tore my girlfriend apart limb by limb to find out whether or not she loved me."

"Moscow cops Did you hear the one about why Moscow cops patrol in threes? One who can read, one who can write, and another to keep an eye on the other two ""dangerous intellectuals""."

"Bruce Jenner never liked having a dick... ...and it just grew on him."

"When you clean a vacuum cleaner You become a vacuum cleaner"

"How is the American public now like Socrates? By November, they will have both picked their poison."

"The first time I got up close and personal with a girl was round the back by the school bins. In hindsight, I wish I hadn't looked into that rubbish bag."

"Son: Where are the Himalayas? Father: If you'd put things away you'd know where to find them."

"What did Captain Picard call his poop? Captain's log"

"vegan zombie what does a vegan zombie eat? GRAAAAINS"