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Joke of the Day

"I read that having sex every day for a year could transform your marriage. It worked so well I'm thinking of suggesting it to my wife."

"I've given up on cooking. It always starts off well. Then it just turns to shit."

"I've heard of sleepwalking on Ambien but the cabbie dropped me off and seems I flew to New Mexico, got peyote, ate a burrito, and flew back."

"John Lennon would have been 82 years old today had he not perished on 9/11. #KONY2012"

"What do you call two fake number fours next to each other? Fauxty faux"

"flappy bird misunderstanding someone told me to get flappy bird. trying to pick up women from my local bingo hall, was not what they meant."

"Yesterday my doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating. I asked, ""Why is that, doc?"" He replied, ""I'm trying to examine you."""

"Home Work Jokes jemi:Teacher,would you punish me for something I didn't do? Teacher,ofcourse not. Jemi:Good because I didn't do my home work."

"She had soft, black hair, and big, brown eyes. We went for a walk. I told her I loved her. Now she's gone. She took off after a squirrel."

"What did one snowman say to the other? ""Can you smell carrots?"""