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Joke of the Day

"flappy bird misunderstanding someone told me to get flappy bird. trying to pick up women from my local bingo hall, was not what they meant."

"my Liam Nissan is missing from the parking lot it's been taken 2014"

"If I were a dinosaur, I'd be a swagasaurus."

"Never let the printer know that you are in a hurry."

"How did alien defeat predator? ""Hi, why don't you have a seat right over there please.."""

"My tombstone will read: If You Don't Know Me By Now, You Will Never Ever Ever Know Me."

"What do you say to a person at a funeral held at 10 A.M.? Good mourning."

"My girlfriend attended a 3 day course on ""How Not to talk on the phone"" but missed the beginning. She mistook the course to be ""How to talk on the phone."""

"My father's such a condescending man ... Since he died he's always looked down on me."

"Girlfriends are similar to Chrome They use too much of your resources"