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Joke of the Day

"I've heard of sleepwalking on Ambien but the cabbie dropped me off and seems I flew to New Mexico, got peyote, ate a burrito, and flew back."

"Why can't Redditors lose their virginity? They can never get further than the tip!"

"Anyone who thinks Megan Fox is the hottest thing ever has obviously never left Pizza Rolls in too long."

"There is a new drink at my bar. It's called a Sandy. It's basically a watered down Manhattan."

"I came home to a trail of bread leading to the bedroom & of course I followed, only to find my husband in bed with 10 ducks. I'm heartbroken"

"What happened to the Native American who drank too much tea? He died in his teepee"

"Saturn Undefeated Solar system Hula Hoop champ!"

"What's brown and sticky? A poop."

"What's wet and wiggly and says how do you do sixteen times? Two octopuses shaking hands."

"What's the difference between a lesbian and a Ritz cracker? Ones a snack cracker and the others a crack snacker."