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Joke of the Day

"My father told me that I should condition more and shampoo less I told him to stop getting in the shower with me"

"What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow? You can't milk a cow for 14 years straight."

"When Chinese audiences see movies based on toys... ...they probably think ""Hey look! It's those toys we made!"""

"What do you do if life gives you melons? You're dyslexic."

"Oops. Everyone brought their ""see you next year""s to work today and I only brought my throat slashing gesture."

"I can tell everything I need to know about a person by how they cut their sandwich. Diagonal = normal Straight = serial killer No cut = dad"

"I can't make you love me but I can tie you up and feed you until you're too fat to be loved by anyone else."

"I used to steal famous comedian's jokes I still do, but I used to too."

"Have you guys heard about the corduroy pillows? There making head lines. (classic) Edit: goddammit...they're"

"You really have to hand it to blind prostitutes."