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Joke of the Day

"I used to steal famous comedian's jokes I still do, but I used to too."

"You don't see many dog librarians. Probably because of the barking."

"Great Russian Joke What's the difference between a shark and Vladimir Putin? The shark kills to eat, while Putin kills to ""AAAAARRRGGGHHH!!!"" ""Thump"" ...silence..."

"Look iPhone, if I wanted to be constantly be corrected today, I would have stayed home with my wife"

"I hate when you forget to wear a belt and have to shoot heroin using the blood pressure machine at walgreens."

"What did the manager of the frankenstein museum say? I'VE CURATED A MONSTER!"

"Do you know why it's called the Holy Land? Because it's full of bullet holes."

"The One Ultimate Secret to Creating Clear Headlines that will make other joke-tellers hate you. Corduroy Pillow Case."

"A mexican and black person have a car race. They both end up going over a cliff and die. Who won the race? Society."

"TIL that the famous teacher Anne Sullivan once accidentally taught the wrong class after the legitimate teacher couldn't make it and the alternate teacher was late. Whoops, wrong sub."